Not Guilty
by Doll Girl
Summary: Own no one. Set during "Court Martial". After finding out about the untied anchor line Gilligan is burdened with guilt and the only way to relieve it is to put him on trial. They all soon discover that it's not Gilligan who should be judged, especially when they discover just how badly they have made the first mate feel. One shot


Skipper breathed a sigh of relief when he found GIlligan on the beach staring out at the water. He frowned in concern noticing the way he was hugging his knees. He went over and sat beside him. "Gilligan…"

The boy winced and looked down. "Skipper...I'd feel better if I was locked up in jail."

The older sailor's eye ridges shot up. "Jail? Gilligan you're not a criminal."

"I'm guilty of negligence," his first mate said swallowing. "It's all my fault...not only for landing us here but...but keeping us here." He put his head in his arms. "I'm worthless. Nobody needs me. You'd all be better off…"

Skipper put his arm around him. "GIlligan...Little Buddy that's not true. You're not worthless and we need you." He gently rubbed his back. "I need you."

Gilligan looked at him with watery eyes. "Skipper…"

He frowned in worry. "Gilligan I know I'm hard on you at times but that's only because I know what you're capable of."

He shook his head. "You're hard on me because all I do is screw up and it's not just you. I've ruined the Professor's experiments and...and all I do is hurt people. I am nothing but trouble. I don't know why you all keep me around."

The captain thought for a moment as he gazed at his depressed friend. "Would you feel better if we put you on trial?"

Gilligan looked at him. "Trial?"

He nodded. "Like if we put you in front of us like we would be in front of the Maritime Board. You can say what you need to say."

"I'm...not sure if I can hold it together if I did that," Gilligan said looking down.

Skipper pulled him into a hug. "Little Buddy it might help all of us. I think there are some things that we need to hear from you."

"O...Ok but make sure no one goes easy on me. I want to be punished. I have to be held accountable for what I've done."

He only nodded as he stood up. "Alright." He gently but firmly grabbed GIlligan's arm. "First Mate Gilligan you are under arrest."

Gilligan let himself be lead to their makeshift jail and walked in voluntarily.

Skipper shut the door and locked it before meeting the boy's nervous eyes. "You do know we won't hurt you right?"

He nodded. "I know."

"Good," he said before leaving and heading back to camp.

The others were waiting as he knew they would. "I found Gilligan…" He explained everything.

"Put him on trial? For what? He hasn't done anything wrong!" Mary Ann said frowning.

"He's convinced that he's hurt us and hurt our careers," Skipper said.

Mr Howell frowned. "Oh nonsense! Everything about that storm was frightful!"

"He probably thought the anchor line was attached," the Professor said.

The Skipper looked at the Professor. "He feels bad about those experiments he's ruined."

He could tell the Professor was taken aback. "Experiments? Gilligan never kn…" He stopped as his eyes went wide. "He never knew until after...Oh I'm a fool!" He palmed his forehead. I can think of a few instances where it was actually my negligence that ruined a rescue." He frowned. "But he always took the blame."

Ginger bit her lip. "He's taken the blame for a lot of things."

"We've forced him into things as well," Mr Howell said with a sigh. "Dangerous things."

They all looked at each other in worry.

"We almost forced him into a marriage he didn't want," Mrs Howell said swallowing.

"I will never forget that missile flying out with him in it," the Professor said. He sighed. "I believe the wrong person is being put on trial."

Skipper nodded. "I have an idea that just might help us all."

A few hours later the Skipper returned and lead Gilligan to where the mock Minnow was.

Only now it looked like a platform with everyone looking down at him. The first mate gulped and his knees shook as he was lead to a chair and sat down.

The Skipper went to the platform and stood on it. For a moment he didn't see his first mate sitting there...he saw the boy in his white Navy uniform sitting in the Mess Hall reading Robinson Crusoe. A smile tugged at his mouth but he fought it off.

"First Mate William Gilligan, you have been brought before us on the charge of negligence of duty on multiple counts. How do you plead?"

Gilligan drew in a breath. "Guilty Sir."

"Before we go any further speak your case, "Skipper said.

Gilligan gulped as he looked at them. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I'm so much trouble. I ruined everyone's lives and I deserve to be punished! I don't deserve mercy. I'm…" He looked down and drew in a shaky breath. "I'm not important but all of you are."

The Professor stepped forward. "I have something to say. Gilligan you have ruined my experiments and often times I have to start over…!"

Gilligan swallowed as his eyes burned. He shut his eyes and looked down.

"...because due to my own negligence I don't tell you or anyone else things."

Gilligan blinked before his head shot up and his eyes met those of the smartest man he'd ever known!

The Professor sighed before smiling gently at him. "For those experiments, for failing to inform you and everyone else of many things, I take the guilt from you and put it on my shoulders. You are not at fault. Not guilty."

The boy's eyes watered. "Oh Professor…"

He stepped back and Ginger stepped forward. "The longer we're here the longer I'm away from Hollywood and the harder it will be to get back into it."

Gilligan swallowed.

Ginger smiled softly. "I needed to leave."

Gilligan's eyes went wide. "Ginger…?"

She held up her hand. "I needed to leave because I have had to be someone else. I didn't think that I, Ginger Grant, was good enough for anyone. Ginger Grant, the actress was well loved. Ginger Grant, the person, not so much." She smiled at him. "I could never seduce you and at first that frustrated me. Now I know why. Men could take a lesson from you on how to be a gentleman and how to treat a lady. You didn't ruin my career Gilligan...you showed me what real friendship is. Not guilty."

Tears fell from his eyes.

Ginger stepped back and the Howell's stepped forward.

Mr Howell looked at the boy sternly. "Gilligan you are clumsy, inept…"

Gilligan cringed as he wiped his eyes.

The millionaire softened. "...and the most endearing lad we have ever met."

The first mate blinked before looking up at him in shock.

Mrs Howell smiled gently. "You are a dear boy and you always try hard to please. Before the shipwreck Thurston and I were drifting apart in our marriage and if something didn't change I'm afraid we would have divorced."

Mr Howell nodded with a gentle look. "My Boy we were all frightened in the storm and you both did the best you could. Being here has forced us both to face our problems and we have grown much closer. You did not ruin my career. You saved our marriage. Not guilty."

Gilligan shook his head in disbelief.

The Howell's stepped back and Mary Ann stepped forward. She frowned in concern. "Nobody's perfect. Accidents happen. Unfortunately sometimes it seems like our bad outweighs our good. Truth is we forget that you work so hard to help everyone and you bring a smile to our faces. I love being around you. You are funny, kind, and sweet. We've forgotten those things." She smiled. "Your heart is always in the right place. Not guilty.

Gilligan smiled wetly as what felt like boulders lifted from his shoulders.

Mary Ann stepped back and the Skipper returned to the podium. He looked down and met the boy's eyes. "First Mate Gilligan, you have dropped things on me, ran into me, and sometimes I swear you aim for me!"

Gilligan ducked his head with a sheepish grin.

The Skipper chuckled. "But at the end of the day when I get a chance to think back over whatever happened I am able to smile. You bring joy wherever you go. I should have told you to check the anchor line before we even set sail. In fact, if anything we are both at fault for some things that have happened." He smiled gently. "Gilligan, the radio was on earlier. The Maritime Board ruled that it was a bad weather report that wrecked the Minnow. The captain and crew were not found at fault."

Gilligan swallowed. "R-really?"

He nodded. "So for the shipwreck I find you not guilty."

Gilligan let out a shaky breath as the last boulder was removed and he was able to sit straight. "Thank you…"

Mary Ann smiled as she hopped down, went over to him, and hugged him. "Oh Gilligan we're sorry we made you feel so bad!"

He hugged her back as the others climbed down and went over to him. "It's alright."

"No Gilligan it's not. No one asked you to be our scapegoat," The Professor said. "I'm going to try to remember to inform everyone of my experiments before I do them."

Gilligan chuckled. "How about just labeling stuff?"

Roy smiled and nodded. "I will from now on."

The castaways sat down around the table where a long overdue conversation took place. When it was over Gilligan reached into his pocket and pulled out his boy scout knife before setting it on the table.

"I have a confession to make. Please don't be angry," he said swallowing. He pulled up his sleeves to reveal small cuts up and down his arms.

Six horrified faces stared back at him.

"For every bad thing that happened I punished myself. It...it helped…"

Skipper put his hand on his forehead as he swallowed. "How long?"

Gilligan looked down. "Since the box of magic tricks." He rolled up his pant legs. "When I'd run out of space on my arms…"

His legs were a criss cross of red stripes.

Mr Howell got up and knelt beside the boy. His eyes shining with grief. "Gilligan, Dear Boy…" He gently gripped Gilligan's upper arms. "Please stop. Stop harming yourself."

Gilligan stared in shock when he saw tears. "Mr Howell…"

"Gilligan you have worked your magic on this old curmudgeon! Do you know the Charles Dickens novel "A Christmas Carol"?"

The first mate nodded. "Yeah. I used to read it every Christmas."

"I was worse than Ebenezer Scrooge as you jolly well know when we first arrived here. My boy, you worked your magic on me." He raised a hand and cupped his cheek. "Money was all I cared for and Lovey was the one suffering for it. As I said we were on the verge of divorce if something drastic didn't happen."

Gilligan smiled a little. "I guess getting stranded was drastic enough huh?"

He chuckled. "Indeed. My boy that week we had you as our son you gave us the one thing we always wanted: a child. It was the one thing we were never able to have and adoption...well...we couldn't choose just one child. When you went to talk to the Skipper that night you had your nightmare I admit I eavesdropped. When you left to speak with the Professor I realized that you were dying on the inside and I was the one holding the blade, twisting it to cause you more harm. It was that moment that, for the first time in a very long time, I decided to do something I had never been able to do before."

"Wh-what was that?"

The elder man met the boy's eyes. "Love someone enough to let them go. My boy I acted angry at the party but your performance put me in stitches! I was laughing so hard I was crying and every lesson about money that my father had pounded into me…" He held Gilligan's gaze. "...literally…" At Gilligan's wide eyes he continued. "Was wrong." He put a hand on Gilligan's chest, over his heart. "I told Lovey you were all heart and I mean that. You are priceless Gilligan. Precious and priceless. Please...I am begging you Son. Don't cut any more."

Gilligan swallowed as tears leaked from his eyes. "I won't. It's why I told everyone."

He nodded as he let out a shaky breath before standing up. "Thank you."

Roy took the knife and inspected it seeing dried blood on the blade. His expression unreadable which made Gilligan nervous. His hand tightened around the hilt. "Are you close to your brother? You mentioned him once."

Gilligan shook his head. "He never wanted anything to do with me."

"He never played with you? Babysat you? Comforted you when you were scared?"

Gilligan shrugged. "He was Dad's shining star. He used to make me his training dummy when he practiced his football. He got a full scholarship to a university." He frowned. "I only mentioned him once. You remember that? Especially considering what happened afterward?"

"I remember thinking that little brothers certainly were pests. I always wanted a sibling but my parents were unable to bare more than one child." He looked at the first mate. "Do you recall the missile?"

The boy nodded. "Yeah of course I do. One of the scariest things I've ever done!"

"Right before it shot away with you I tried to get you out but it ripped out of my hands." He took a deep breath. "I had never felt so horrible in my life. When you returned safe and sound…"

"You were the first one to me."

Roy nodded. "Yes. You proved yourself that day. As time wore on I began to see you as the younger brother I had always wanted. I've wanted to tell you this for quite some time but had not the courage nor the right moment. I didn't want you to think that I was trying to replace him."

Gilligan chuckled. "It's funny Professor...I wish you were my big brother. You don't get mad at me like he does."

"Gilligan, little brother, if you need me...day or night...come find me," The Professor said in the gentlest voice they had ever heard him use. They watched as he pulled out his handkerchief and began cleaning the dried blood off of it. "We will listen."

"I will listen," Skipper said unable to look at his first mate. "I'm so sorry Gilligan. Why didn't you come to me?"

Gilligan looked down. "You think I was lying.""

The captain's hands clenched. "Gilligan…"

Gilligan shut his eyes. "Skipper...I'm sorry. Sometimes I wonder if you care about me like you used to."

The older sailor stilled. "What made you think I ever stopped?"

"The cable...I didn't want it to get wet in the rain. I'm not that smart but I do know that water and electricity don't mix. I didn't think it'd get washed out to sea." The first mate swallowed. "Seventy times you made me go under. I'm a good swimmer but I was getting tired. You wouldn't even talk to me afterwards. Usually after a punishment you'd talk to me about what it was I did wrong and tell me what I should have done so that I knew next time. Then you'd always...ALWAYS made sure I knew you cared and make me feel better." He put his head in his hands. "I can't make you proud of me anymore. Your approval means everything to me."

The Skipper's jaw clenched as did his hand. "Gilligan if I didn't care for you I would have handed you over to the headhunters."

Gilligan looked up at him.

Skipper met his eyes reading the uncertainty there. "Gilligan, where's your medal?"

"It's in my duffle…" the boy said warily.

Everyone watched as the Skipper got up and marched to the Crew's hut. He came back with a small box. Once at the table he opened it. "This is the Navy Cross. It's awarded to Sailors who prove themselves to have courage and bravery above and beyond the call of duty. This was awarded to Gilligan when he saved my life at the risk of his own. The depth charge crushed his foot." He looked at it before looking at his first mate. "I need a reminder every now and again but Gilligan I assure you I NEVER stopped being proud of you. I never stopped caring. I couldn't love you more if you were my own flesh and blood son." He sat the box on the table, grabbed the boy's arm, and pulled him into a bearhug.

Mary Ann got up and joined in the hug, followed by Ginger, the Professor, and the Howells.

In that moment something mended in the young first mate. For the first time he could actually feel their love.

That love was what kept him going...kept him fighting...and kept him alive weeks later when Jonathan Kinkaid came to hunt him down.


End file.
